I’m on a leave of absence, but I couldn’t just stand idly by and not post this gem from Texas. I’m STILL cracking up! From the Houston Press:
Having a name like “Shelley Sekula-Gibbs” and deciding to run a write-in campaign is, in a word, genius. It called to mind the immortal jingle sung by The Simpsons’ Schwarzenegger character, Rainier Wolfcastle: “Mein bratwurst has a first name, it’s F-R-I-T-Z. Mein bratwurst has a second name, it’s S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.”
J.R. Perez of the Fort Bend County elections office says voters were pretty inventive in spelling Sekula-Gibbs’s name. Fort Bend is only one of four counties in District 22, but the list of spellings that were accepted as write-in votes (by a bipartisan panel who ruled on voters’ intent) is 28 pages long.
Voters cast their write-in ballots for, among others: Kelly Segula Gibbs, Snelly Gibbr, Schikulla Gibbs, Sheila Gibbs, Shelly Schulla Gibbs, Shelly Gibkula and, by someone who obviously never wanted the joy of using the machine to end, ShelleySkulaGibbsssss.
The name “Sekula” was spelled as Sektula, Sukla, Sequila, Sedoko and Sedoka (by puzzle fans?), Meklua, Sekluda and Shecola.
One voter couldn’t be bothered, just putting in SSG. (It counted.) Another, for some reason, entered Sekula Smith.
Another voter entered “Shelle Sekula Fibbs,” which might have been a hidden political message. Not so hidden, but counted as a vote just the same, was “Shelly DraculaCunt Gibs.” (We like to imagine the bipartisan discussion on that entry: “Well, they misspelled the first and last name, but that’s definitely a Shelley vote.”) [emphasis added]
Since soaring to a special election victory based on votes not marked as “DraculaCunt” or “Snelly Gibbr”, Shelley Hyphenated-Name’s abbreviated term in the House of Represenatives has gotten off to a rocky start, as I’m sure you’re aware: temper tantrums when she didn’t receive a personal visit from the President, driving away her entire congressional staff and demanding their (apparently routine) activities to be investigated, all on top of messianic pledges to solve illegal immigration and other pressing problems in her one-month term. It all makes you wonder what colorful names the voters of TX-22 might write on their ballots in 2008 if the Gibster gives it another go (please, please, please).
(Hat tip to Wonkette.)