These are just a few of my favorite bits of Republican misfortune this year. I’m sure you can think of more.
- VA-Sen: A seat your party holds in a purple-trending state somewhat unexpectedly opens up. The good news is that you have an ideal successor, ready-to-go. He’s won hard-fought elections, cultivated a “moderate” record, and has tons of cash in the bank. What do you do? Well, obviously, if you are the modern Republican Party, you tell him to fuck off. Congrats and thanks to the VA GOP for running Tom Davis out of town by cancelling their primary and scheduling a wingnut festival instead.
- NY-19: The gall! The unmitigated gall! How could a Democrat ever dare to represent Westchester! Why, such things just aren’t done! Well, of course they are (after all, a Dem represents the 18th), but so said the NY GOP after 2006. So they set their sights on Rep. John Hall and rallied around uber-rich self-funder Andrew Saul. Only problem: After months of gangbusters fundraising, it turns out Saul’s up to his ears in ethics violations – and now out of the race. A Republican engaging in corruption? Why, such things just aren’t done!
- NJ-07: Here’s a job no Republican wants: food-taster for Markos Moulitsas. Here’s another job no Republican wants, either: United States Representative for New Jersey’s Seventh Congressional District. Within just a single day of this seat opening up, Tom Kean, Jr., Jon Bramnick and Bob Franks all took a pass. Three up, three down, end of the inning. Better luck in the next frame, compadres.
- OH-15: First there was Jim Petro. But Petro said no. Then there was Steve Stivers. But Stivers said no. Then there was Jim Hughes, but Jim Hughes said no. Then there was Greg Lashutka but Lashutka said no. Then, there was… three months of silence. And finally, Steve Stivers decided he was fer it after he was agin’ it, undoubtedly after Tom Cole twisted his arm 180 degrees behind his back. Hint to Republicans: Money won’t spring loose if you shove it the full 360. Nor will victory.
- CT-02: The NRCC called him a “heavyweight.” Thing is, Mike Tyson is also a heavyweight. No, Sean Sullivan doesn’t sport any facial tattoos, but he might as well be wearing a scarlet letter, given how unloved he is these days in DC. “Persona non grata,” declared one insider after Sully scraped together a miserable $25K in the second quarter. Personally, I prefer another Latin phrase: bigus dickus. Good luck, skipper.
Crumb-bums will be crumb-bums; they can’t help it – it’s just in their nature.
Don’t forget IL-11. Republicans ran through several 1st and 2nd tier candidates before winding up with a third tier candidate. Of course Dems got their dream candidate with Debbie Halvorson.
I love it when David gets goin’! The way this writing should be.
Jim Gilmore to be the Fred Thompson of the Virginia Senate race.
The Colorado GOP running off Scott McInnis cause he’s pro-choice. And electable. Can’t have that.
New Mexico: having Wilson and Pearce both exit Congress is pretty annoying, especially since without them they’ll be lucky to keep either district.
Alaska: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Too bad they fired Carol Lam before she could indict Jerry Lewis. I would have really liked to have indicted a committee chair. Pombo and Ney did not satisfy me.
Stevens would though, although indicting the chairs of House Approps AND Senate Approps would have been priceless.
Can we have that if we give them Feinstein? Then we’d really have a win-win deal.
I think I’ll just go to sleep now cause obviously I’m dreaming already.
But do not underestimate the GOP.
Now it just depends whether they can raise money in 2008 or not.
They are fighting a battle on three fronts for the first time in years: the PREZ race, the SENATE and the HOUSE. This is the first time in years that they will be hard press in all three arenas all at once.
If this continues, then just maybe, with a smart campaign and the coattails of one Warner and two Udalls, the DEMS could get the magic 9 needed in the senate and increase their majority in the House to at least 50-60 seats.
And I am all but sure of a DEM capture of the white house in 2008.
I love it, David. Very funny. 🙂
regarding Sully in CT-02,I think the proper Latin phrase is “assus holus.” Let’s hope CT-04 is also back in play in 2008 so as to rid CT’s House delegation of pro-Iraq war reps once and for all. Happy Thanksgiving.